Saturday, December 18, 2010

The Best TV Lines of 2010

We all know the end of the year is a prime time of "Best of" lists. And yes, I am prepping a "Best Shows of 2010" list (hopefully coming next week -- stay tuned).
But this year, I thought I'd mix it up and do a best quotes of 2010 list. I asked for suggestions and got almost nothing from you people. So, I was left to my own devices to come up with a list of the verbal highlights of 2010. I tried my best, but I know there are many things I forgot (my failure to come up with a single memorable line from either "The League" or "It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia" shames me to no end).
Still, here is my sure-to-be-imperfect-but-complete-to-the-best-of-my-abilities list of the best quotes of 2010.

Mad Men

“Well, I gotta go learn a bunch of people's names before I fire them.”
-Roger Sterling

“She died like she lived: Surrounded by people she answered phones for.”
-Roger Sterling, eulogizing Ida Blankenship (actually, can we just go ahead and assume everything that comes out of Roger’s mouth is made of awesome?)

“I have a boyfriend.”
-Peggy Olson
“He doesn't own your vagina.”
-Peggy’s friend Joyce
“No, but he is renting it.”

“Just 'cause you're sad doesn't mean everybody has to be.”
-Little Glen Bishop, delivering a verbal smackdown to Betty Draper

Breaking Bad

“Yo, Gatorade me, bitch.”
-Jesse Pinkman


“Breakfast is one of the five most important meals of the day.”
-Britt Pollock

“So you blog. Do you tweet?”
-Mark Gustafson (this one is really all about Rockmund Dunbar’s delivery. Still…)


"I have to be honest, Will. I'm having a really difficult time hearing anything you have to say today because your hair looks like a briar patch. I keep expecting racist animated Disney characters to pop up and start singing songs about livin' on the bayou."
-Sue Sylvester

“People thought I went on vacation but I really spent the summer lost in the sewers.”

“Oh! It’s time to feed my gimp.”
-Sue Sylvester

“Give me some chocolate or I will cut you.”
-Becky the Cheerio

Sons of Anarchy

“Maybe you go redhead for a while.”
-Tig, to an on-the-lam Gemma
“Oh, Christ – I’d rather shave my head.”
- Gemma Teller Morrow (played by Katey Sagal, who also famously played redheaded Peg Bundy on “Married … With Children.”)

True Blood

“A fairy? How f------ lame!”
-Sookie Stackhouse

“There are two kinds of people in the world: people who got no dreams, people who got dreams and don’t do nothing about it and people who go out and fulfill their dreams and I’m the third kind.”
-Jason Stackhouse

30 Rock

“Lemon. Lesbian. Frankenstein. Wants her. Shoes back.”
- Jack Donaghy (or, rather, Jack Donaghy’s voice on

“I'm sorry I'm a real woman and not some over-sexed New York nympho like those sluts on Everybody Loves Raymond.”
-Liz Lemon

Modern Family

“I feel like a joke”
“You’re not a joke. You’re Pepper Saltzman!”
-Cameron Tucker

“I remember once at a New Year's Eve party, stroke of midnight, he high-fived me. Two problems with that: One, gays don't high five. Two, gays don't high five.”
-Cameron Tucker

“Your kids don't need to know who you were before you had them; they need to know who you wish you were, and try to live up to that person. They're gonna fall short, but better they fall short of the fake you than the real you.”
-Claire Dunphy


“You don’t play games where I have to figure out what it is you’re really thinking. You just say it. Usually, with a lot a really filthy words that I’ve never heard before.”
-Joe Quinn, to Debra

“Tick, tick, tick. That’s the sound of your life running out.”
-Jordan Chase

“Don’t be sorry your darkness is gone. I’ll carry it always. I’ll keep it with mine.”
- Dexter, to Lumen


“I’m going to need an ambulance. And a coroner.”
-Raylan Givens


“Every question I answer will simply lead to another question.”
-Jacob and Man in Black’s mom. (Yeah, I know the “Lost” writers were kind of toying with us fans with this line, but I loved it anyway.)

“John Locke was a... believer. He was a man of faith. He was a much better man than I will ever be, and I'm very sorry I murdered him.”
-Ben Linus (God, I miss Ben Linus)

And a few lines from the polarizing (but indelible no matter your feelings) finale of “Lost”

"You're not John Locke. You disrespect his memory by wearing his face, but you're nothing like him. Turns out he was right about most everything. I just wish I would have told him that when he was still alive."
-Jack to the Locke Mess Monster

"I want you to know, Jack, you died for nothing!"
-Locke Mess Monster

"I don't believe in a lot of things, but I do believe in duct tape."

“Kiss me Sawyer.”
“You got it, Blondie.”
(I’m sorry, but if that moment didn’t at least make you give a heavy sigh, you have no soul).

The Walking Dead

“We need more guts.”
-Rick Grimes

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